Americans say Trump's Bill is like a bad magic trick: Now you see your health insurance, now you don’t!

The Ministry of Unfortunate Situations presents: 

Ladies and gentlemen, gather ‘round and pay attention! Today, we delve into the whimsical world of Trumpolline, where logic takes a backseat and Trumpsurdity reigns supreme. Our star of the show? None other than the “One Big Beautiful Bill,” President Donald Trump’s latest attempt to rob the proles– and feed the Archons. Spoiler alert: IT Sucks!

The Royal Request

Trump, dressed as a modern-day King Midas, strides into the Senate, gold crown gleaming, a scroll in hand. “Behold!” he declares, “My one big beautiful bill!” The crowd is silent, save for the sound of crickets chirping in disbelief. Why, you ask? Because this legislation is about as popular as Andrew Cuomo in NYC!

No kidding! With polling numbers that make a sinking ship look buoyant, this bill is more unlikable than a cat at a dog show. Recent surveys show a staggering 55% of Americans oppose it, making it the legislative equivalent of being left off the guest list at a royal wedding.

The Unpopularity Contest

Now, let’s take a moment to appreciate the sheer magnitude of this unpopularity. It’s like the bill has entered a contest for the most disliked legislation since the dawn of time—and it’s winning by a landslide! Even the infamous 2017 tax cuts, which were previously crowned the “Most Unpopular Bill of the Century,” have taken a backseat to this monstrosity.

If you think that’s impressive, wait until you hear that 66% of Republican-leaning voters who don’t identify with the MAGA movement are shaking their heads in disapproval. That’s right! Even some of Trump’s most loyal subjects are whispering, “Perhaps we should reconsider this whole ‘One Big Beautiful Bill’ nonsense.”

The Tomato Toss

As Trump holds his “bill” aloft, the crowd, rather than throwing roses, prepares for a tomato-throwing contest. “This bill will be a boondoggle for the wealthy!” they chant, armed with ripe tomatoes, ready to launch their protest. Let’s face it: it’s hard to charm the masses when they see the bill as a golden ticket for the elite while the rest of the population is left clutching their wallets, wondering if they’ll ever see a dinar again.

The Medicaid Fiasco

Ah, Medicaid cuts! What’s more fun than slashing health care for the needy? The bill promises to leave 11 million people without insurance by 2034. Yes, folks, you heard that right! Health care for the masses? No, thank you!”

The irony is palpable. Americans are looking at this bill and thinking it’s like a bad magic trick: “Now you see your health insurance, now you don’t!” The laughter is uproarious, but it’s the kind that masks a grim reality.

The Future of the Bill

As the tomatoes fly, one must wonder: could this bill ever gain popularity? Perhaps, like a fine wine, it could improve with age. But history suggests otherwise. The ghosts of failed legislation past—like the 2017 tax cuts and that Obamacare overhaul that sank faster than a lead balloon—haunt the halls of Congress and the minds of the Senators.

Polling shows that those who know a “great deal” about the bill oppose it 64% to 33%. Knowledge is power, and in this case, it seems to be a recipe for disaster. If ignorance is bliss, then perhaps the majority of Americans are just trying to maintain their sanity in this circus of a political landscape.

So, let’s raise a glass to the coming Midterms!

As the tomatoes continue to rain down, one thing is clear: the American people are not buying what Trump’s selling. So, let’s raise a glass to the coming Midterms! Cheers!