Medvedev trolling Trump: Hurry Up With Greenland, a Snap Referendum Might Happen

The Greek Courier 

Tuesday, the 13th of January

In a galaxy not so far away, where icebergs are humongous and geopolitical bullshit is even bigger, the illustrious Deputy Chairman of Russia's Security Council, Dmitry Medvedev, just took a trolling jab at the orange-hued commander-in-chief of the United States, Donald Trump.

Medvedev, like a cheeky bard with a knack for trolling, issued a dire warning to Trump to "act quickly" or risk losing Greenland to what he called a “sudden referendum”.  

As an uproar has broken out over the US President's repeated statements about annexing the region, Medvedev ignited his sarcasm: "Trump needs to hurry. According to unconfirmed information, a snap referendum could be held in a few days, in which all 55,000 residents of Greenland could vote for joining Russia," said the Deputy Chairman of the Security Council, according to Interfax..

"And then that will be it. There will be no new stars on the US flag," he added, concluding as follows: "Generally speaking, the US takeover of Greenland would be beneficial for improving the global climate. but firstly, it would allow for the elimination of the wasp's nest of drug mafia at the heart of apocalyptic evil – the metropolis of Nuuk," he said.

Russian dissing at its best. 

Meanwhile, as NATO troops discuss defending Greenland like it’s the last piece of cake at a birthday party, the British are firmly stating that all this is just “routine.” Because, naturally, planning military ops against Russia and China is just another Tuesday. “Oh, did you hear? NATO’s having a picnic in Greenland next week—bring your own battleship!”

While the world winks and jabs at this geopolitical circus, let’s all remember that in the end, it might just effectively end up as “Who Wants to Be a Billionaire: International Edition.”