Sunday, August 16, 2026

The perils of falling in love as a Communist Party member in China

World China
10 min read
4 hr ago

Hong Kong — She was about to marry the love of her life, a foreign man she met at an overseas airport, who’d asked for her number and quickly followed up. But instead of congratulating their long-time colleague, her co-workers, under the orders of their department head, urged her to think again.

Was he worth her losing her job?

Along with millions of other Chinese government employees, the woman, whose name was not disclosed due to the sensitivity of the matter, is bound by a long-standing rule that bans civil servants, or anyone who possesses “significant secrets,” from marrying foreigners.

And it’s not just marriage. Since Chinese leader Xi Jinping came to power in 2012, many aspects of personal life for members of the Communist Party or the state sector, from divorce to travel and social activities, have come under increasing scrutiny.

It’s part of Xi’s attempt to mitigate risks to national security and to stamp out corruption – and for tens of millions of state workers, it creates a constant tension between their right to a personal life and party loyalty.

“This conflation between the individual and the party and the mission is really quite different under Xi than it was under his direct predecessors,” said Katja Drinhausen, the head of program for politics and society at the think tank Merics, based in Berlin.

In China, anyone who holds a position of authority is almost certainly a party member, and being kicked out of the party means the end of one’s political career.

Other governments, including the US, have their own rules and disclosure requirements, but beyond the breadth of the controls in China, the sheer number of people affected is striking – and reaches far beyond civil servants.

A paper published by China’s Fudan University estimated nearly 70 million people were employed by the state in 2020, including employees of public hospitals, schools, universities and state-owned enterprises.

Some of the rules are a byproduct of Beijing’s expanding national security drive. As China’s strategic rivalry with the US and its allies deepens, Beijing has broadened its anti-espionage campaign, casting suspicious eyes on foreign ties amid concerns about the leak of state secrets.

Other rules stem from Xi’s signature anti-corruption campaign and demand for absolute devotion to the ruling Communist Party. Xi has said fighting against corruption is essential to the party’s survival, and its ability to stay in power depends on strict discipline and political loyalty.




China’s disappearing generals. Xi and his top aides from the Central Military Commission attend a promotion ceremony every year. All seven members were present in 2023, but when it came to 2026, only one person, Zhang Shengmin, remained standing alongside Xi. The others have been purged. Among them, Li Shangfu was handed a death sentence for corruption with a two-year reprieve. Xinhua


The anti-corruption campaign has reached every level of China’s political system, ensnaring millions of senior leaders and rank-and-file officials. In recent years, it has intensified at an unprecedented scale and extended to the military and the highest ranks of the political establishment. Xi has purged or expelled most of the seven-member Central Military Commission, leaving just him and one other member. The all-powerful, 24-member politburo now has only 21 members.

Rising through the ranks


CNN spoke to several people to understand their experience of trading personal freedoms for a prestigious government job. We’re not publishing their names due to the sensitivity around speaking about party matters.

One source explained, “The allure of power is too great.”

“Entering the system is practically equivalent to becoming an official, and becoming an official means being above others.”

The desire for a position within the government or state-owned institutions has grown in recent years as opportunities shrink within the private sector.

Global economic instability has created unease at home, and a property crisis coupled with high youth unemployment has convinced some residents that securing a stable job within the government is the best path.

Last year, around 3.7 million people took the national public service exam for only 38,100 vacancies – meaning almost 100 candidates, some of China’s best and brightest – were competing for each position.


Candidates waiting to enter the written exam of the 2024 civil servant exam in Nanjing, Jiangsu province, China, on December 10, 2023. Costfoto/NurPhoto/AP

While some people today sign up for a seat in the massive party-state system with an awareness of the trade-offs in their personal lives, many older generations who have spent their entire careers within the system are still learning to adapt to the new rules.

A former Chinese public servant told CNN that they had planned to attend their son’s graduation from a prestigious university in Europe – and had even bought their ticket. But the public servant’s employer rejected their application to travel abroad.

The person said they knew they needed approval to travel, but thought six months’ notice would be enough, and that if they followed the correct protocol, leave would be granted.

However, the former public servant was ultimately banned from leaving the country.

“At first, I didn’t know I couldn’t leave China … but when I completed the paperwork, they would not let me leave at all,” they said.

“I even went to the head of the organization department and talked to many other people, but they all said it was a red line and no one dared to cross it.”

China has long restricted overseas travel for officials, but in recent years those controls have been extended to cover many more people.

Beijing late last month also announced new entry-exit rules it said would help safeguard national security. The rules are widely seen as formalizing existing practices – and tightening controls on the movement of people privy to information about advanced technologies, even if they’re not part of the public sector.

The tougher restrictions within the public sector reflect Beijing’s anxiety over foreign spies and the anti-corruption drive, which seeks to prevent officials from fleeing abroad with embezzled public funds.

The rules stipulate that employees of state and public institutions – including some retirees – must hand in their personal passports and apply to “borrow” them for any pre-approved trips, according to those agencies.

The complex and opaque process involves sharing every single detail, such as destinations, durations, and activities during the proposed trip, according to sources and published regulations. Once approved, applicants are not allowed to alter their plans without authorization.

The process is so complex that most people don’t bother to apply.

People who hold more senior positions in the system, or who have access to confidential information, generally have tighter restrictions placed upon them, according to several sources familiar with the matter and open government announcements. And officials who reach the rank of director-general and above generally have to live with permanent limits on their freedom to travel abroad, even after retirement.

Officials with family connections abroad have long been a target of Beijing’s anti-corruption watchdog – oversight designed to eliminate the opportunity to transfer illicit funds abroad. Rules have tightened in recent years, and officials with children and a spouse in other countries are not eligible for promotion.

The now-retired public servant said they applied again to join their son in Europe this summer, but their application was denied. The person was told they would need to wait a couple of years when they would no longer need clearance.

“For us, we are old, we could look forward to (travel again), but young people have no hope,” they said. “If (a worker is) 30, he’ll have to hang in there until he’s in his sixties and then have to wait a few more years after he retires.”

The complications of change


In China, divorce could also potentially trigger examination from officials.

State media has reported cases of officials divorcing to conceal the proceeds of crime. In one case, a senior official in Anhui province quickly divorced his wife after learning that he was likely to be probed, then transferred most of the embezzled funds to his ex-wife to try to shield the assets from scrutiny.

According to party rules, officials, especially those who hold leadership positions, are required to declare a change in marital status, so they’re flagged for oversight and potentially monitored for any links to corruption.

When it comes to relationships and marriage, members of the People’s Liberation Army (PLA) generally face even tighter restrictions.

Before marriage, PLA members must submit their partners’ profile for a political background check, as detailed in a regulation issued by China’s top military brass, the Central Military Commission, in 2021. If they separate, things get more complicated.

If both parties are PLA members, superiors must step in to mediate the relationship breakdown, and the couple can only get a civil divorce with the military’s approval, which can result in a longer process.


Soldiers of the People's Liberation Army and their brides attend a group wedding at the 35th Harbin Sun Island International Snow Sculpture Art Expo in Harbin, China, on February 11, 2023 Liu Yang/VCG/ Getty Images

Drinhausen, with think tank Merics, told CNN that matters like divorce or marriage can be factored in to members’ perceived moral standing within the party.

“If you’re in the military, you’d better be pretty sure that you’re marrying the love of your life,” she said.

While an affair may seem scandalous or fodder for gossip in other countries, in China’s party system, it could cost your entire career. The Communist Party disciplinary rules explicitly state that if a party member engages in an “improper sexual relationship with another person and it causes an adverse impact” they risk being expelled from the party.

Engaging in an affair has been frequently described as “moral depravity” in statements from China’s top graft buster – the Central Commission for Discipline Inspection – about the sacking of senior officials.

Even friendships between co-workers could attract scrutiny. A source who CNN is not identifying due to the sensitivity of the matter said that colleagues are discouraged from attending group dinners.

“If we don’t get together to eat and chat, our relationship will grow distant,” said the person. “I don’t expect to become close friends with my coworkers anymore – though there used to be some who were.”

CNN has learned some co-workers prefer to catch up later in the night somewhere far from the office to avoid being seen.

It’s part of Xi’s push to “purify” relationships within the party to shore up loyalty under his leadership. He’s repeatedly called for members to maintain “clean and straightforward relationships among comrades” in a move seen as an attempt to discourage intra-party alliances.

“Officials, or military people, (are held) to quite demanding standards now,” Kerry Brown, a professor of Chinese studies at King’s College London, told CNN.

“The Party, after all, is your family and your life. Your natural one just comes second.”

‘Live and breathe the party’


Founded in 1921 by a group of intellectuals, the Chinese Communist Party has grown from a small revolutionary movement into a political organization with more than 101 million members, becoming one of the world’s largest and most enduring ruling parties.

The party has remained at the center of China’s political system since the People’s Republic was founded in 1949. While the reform and opening-up era brought some efforts to distinguish the roles of the party and the state, Xi has extended the party’s supremacy across all areas of society. He enshrined a slogan into the party charter in 2017: “Government, the military, society and schools, north, south, east and west – the party leads them all.”

Jonathan Czin, a fellow at the Brookings Institution and a former CIA China analyst, told CNN that Xi is fully committed to reshaping the entire Chinese society around a conservative value system that prioritizes hard work, family life and clean living.

“Xi really does see the party as there to set an example,” said Czin, adding that Xi has a strong moral, “almost puritanical” streak.

“The party members shouldn’t have a mistress, (they) shouldn’t be hanging out and spending all their time eating and drinking right after official meetings. This has been the main tenor throughout his tenure.”

Czin said Xi has “almost religious devotion to the party” and wants to promote the same within its ranks.

“I don’t think he realistically expects that from all party members, that’s why he’s so stringent about using what levers of control he does have, as he can’t guarantee that, in their hearts, every party member has the same kind of loyalty that he seems to have,” said Czin.

“But he wants to get as close to that as possible.”


A giant portrait of Chinese leader Xi Jinping is carried atop a float at a parade to celebrate the 70th Anniversary of the founding of the People's Republic of China in 1949, at Tiananmen Square, in Beijing, China, on October 1, 2019. Kevin Frayer/Getty Images

Some restrictions on cadres are not outright bans, and many have learned to read between the lines and regulate their own behavior to avoid trouble.

The people CNN spoke to felt the rules were inconvenient, but most said they were used to them, and appreciated their government jobs for their stability and prestige.

“In our position, daily decisions could affect an industry’s direction, which means you have the power to do a lot of good deeds for society,” said one person.

Drinhausen, from Merics, said people within the party “know how to play politics” and use their position to advance and build groups and systems that can protect them from regular purges and crackdowns – the very thing that Xi’s seeking to deter.

She said constant government purges, internal discipline and self-correction has made taking precautions – like only meeting friends for drinks outside after 10 p.m. – a “natural reaction.”

She said under Xi, party members must not only do their job well but comply with the rules inside and outside the office to be considered a “good cadre.”

“You not only need to do your job well, you need to do it in a way (that’s) clean and compliant with all the rules, including the moral expectations… but you also need to monitor and report when you see others veering from the path or misbehaving.”

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