Trump Hates The Atlantic. That's Why He Wants to Rename It After Him

One Atlantic is a magazine he can't stand. The other is an ocean he wants to rename. Coincidence has rarely been this funny

Everybody knows that Donald Trump has a problem with The Atlantic, the magazine whose reporting has repeatedly put his presidency under scrutiny. He can hardly bear to hear the name mentioned around him. It is enough to turn the president into a man of constant sorrows. Well, the 80-year-old-plus president apparently thought he had found a place big enough to drown those sorrows: the Atlantic Ocean itself. There was just one little problem. According to Trump's own account, Google's boss wasn't buying it, sending the president back to the drawing board.

And this is how our story goes...

Speaking at a rally in South Carolina, Trump told the audience he had called Google CEO Sundar Pichai to discuss renaming the Atlantic Ocean “Trump Ocean.” According to Trump's account, Pichai declined, explaining that oceans were different because they bordered so many countries. Trump said he would probably leave the Atlantic alone. The audience laughed. Google has not independently confirmed that the conversation took place. 

The idea fits a pattern. Trump has already pushed to rename the Gulf of Mexico the Gulf of America for U.S. federal use, and he signed an order directing that Lake Ontario be called Lake America by federal agencies. He has also floated renaming New Mexico “New America.” The president appears determined to leave his mark on the map, even when the rest of the world has little reason to follow his lead. 

But the name The Atlantic carries a different kind of significance for Trump. The magazine has published extensive reporting and commentary critical of his administration, making it a recurring target of his broader hostility toward media outlets that challenge his claims and conduct. Its journalists have investigated his political operation, his governing methods, and the consequences of his decisions. 

But as a publication cannot be renamed by presidential decree simply because its coverage is unwelcome, and an ocean is not a piece of presidential property, the hilarious truth lies in the underlying contrast: A president with the power to influence the lives of hundreds of millions of people spending rally time describing an imaginary conversation to his voters about putting his own name on an ocean.

Pathetic. 

P.S. And as for Eisenhower’s battered globe, perhaps someone should ask the White House maintenance crew what happened. Did the old world simply crack under the pressure of being renamed, or did somebody discover that the president’s marker wasn’t working fast enough?